Please note that this is a workaround, not a fix. I couldn’t get the damn thing working reliably, so I bypassed authentication. I wish I knew why I got “DataBaseStatsService: ignoring exception: Error executing query usp_SeclectAgent Inner Exception: Error Executing query usp_SelectAgentCapablities” all the frigging time. Followed John’s advice and reinstalled MSDTC on e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g, no change. Made sure that the settings match VMKB2089583, no change.
As a workaround, I just selected “No Authentication required” on the Clustered MSDTC and the IaaS Manager Service services. Don’t do this as a long-term thing.